I've decided to run for president...

[DaveH]

After a careful review of the options for the up-coming 2008 election:

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE. HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language of America. Speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'WalMart' policy: 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel and the National Guard will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (Six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't getting' nuttin' out. Neither the president nor any other politician will be able to touch it. All Americans will have the choice of opting out of the system and providing for their own retirement.

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour work week and the successful completion of urinalysis. Every Church in America will be required to adopt at least two elderly widows and two young children to provide for their welfare.

(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you will be banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method: The first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There will be no more life sentences -- if you are Lawfully convicted (that means by proper evidence) of a Capitol Offense, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, gun, knife, strangulation, etc. within 30 days.

(9) One export will be allowed - Wheat -- The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower government operating costs. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be recited every day at school and every day in Congress .

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

(13) The IRS will be abolished and replaced with a 10% national sales tax on all goods and services. The federal government will receive 1%, the States 5%, and the counties and cities 2% each. All property taxes will be abolished. If God can get by on 10% so can the government.

(14) All corporations will be abolished and replaced with sole ownership or limited partnership businesses. The owner(s) must be available to customers during normal business hours. Owners will be prosecuted for not submitting collected tax money.

(15) All government positions, elective and appointed, will have strict term limits. Public service is a brief civic duty, not a career to enrich the office holder. Salaries will be based of the average income of the people the government worker represents.

(16) Most foreign military bases will be closed and our troops brought home to guard our borders. America will mind its own business and let other countries do the same. America will no longer "nation build", sponsor "CIA coups", or otherwise interfere with other countries.

(17) The debt usury system will be abolished. America will return to an honest money system backed by gold and silver. All loans will be for terms of six years or less, including land and houses.

(18) Politicians will be held personally responsible for all debts they incur. No longer will Americans have their names co-signed to any debt they do not personally make.

(19) All the national security agencies...the FBI, CIA, ATF, TSA, etc... will be under one department and report daily to the President.

(20) Any person who does not want to live by the values expressed in 1 thru 19 will be deported to a country of their choice. We want everyone to be happy.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, but a vote for me will get you better than what you have and a lot better than what you're otherwise gonna get. For more of my views on what ails America and how to fix it, read : Why Americans Have No Rights. http://mlf1070.blogspot.com

Unlike the two "leading" contenders, I am running a debt free internet campaign. I don't need or want your money. Just forward my platform to all your friends. I would appreciate your vote. Thanks, Michael L. Farris, Natural Born Free American, write-in candidate for President of the United States of America.

[Guest]

under #3, that excludes JDM parts...right? .....RIGHT?!?!?!?

Other than that...I'd vote for you...can I be VP?

[untitledfolder]

I like it, I was skeptical before I opened the thread though...

[zbrown]

So.... how do you spell your name???? as so there is no confusion

[thrash]

Fail.

Most of that list is unconstitutional. The constitution is supposed to be the president's bread and butter. An authoritarian president that I might agree with now and then is still an authoritarian, and not something I want.

The ends don't justify the means. Just ask 6 million Jews.

[inspector01]

I have to agree, as much as many of those sound nice, they are mostly completely unrealistic or unlawful (or both). Also, a write in campaign has no chance of winning anyways, so basically a wasted vote.

[Parker]

a wasted vote is better than a vote for anyone else....

[StangerBanger96]

Watch home ownership rates drop like lead due to #17...

[ruthless351]

I lol at this thread.

[Raider]

"All loans will be for terms of six years or less, including land and houses." Dave you going to pay for my 3k month house payment then?

[98sh]

Congratulations Dave! You have made everyone who's read this a little less intelligent.

[Parker]

dont anyone click on the link or anything people... derrrr da derrrr